I stumbled upon this video while I was deep into thinking about concepts like Too much, Not Enough, etc. for this website. Props to the YouTube algo for knowing me so well. This resulted in the reaction piece below. Enjoy!
I really enjoyed this video! And, I’m certain that every human experience is unique and beyond translation. This ensures that you , Dear reader, most likely have struggled at times in your life with being too much, or not enough. The balance can feel impossible at times!
I often ask myself, “If going deep into things is so valuable, why do people seem to resist or outright deplore going deep with me?”
Most things you can feel deeply seem to be non verbal when you look at how you could describe them. So wouldn’t it be more likely that people would indeed go deep with you if they felt comfortable with you? If they UNDERSTOOD you?
If they spoke my language. What is your inner language though? Wondering if it can even be said……..Do we match somewhere that matters? Enough to have this conversation?
People wouldn’t feel so comfortable when I was hiding from the world. If I don’t feel good in my own skin , who is going to want to play with me. This seems very fair. I remember thinking at that time that I wouldn’t wish for anyone to have to be me. This was a deep depression , still it was becoming obvious it couldn’t hold. I don’t know if this was grace meeting me where I was or sweeping me up to the present moment wide awake. It is just what I was thinking. It hurt me in some ways and liberated me in others.
So I will take a leap here and say with a fair amount of confidence, that if you read this far, you are someone who also feels a magnetic pull towards a more open and honest community where people would feel free to express their unique ideas. Comments and threads that spawn off these posts will hopefully invite all different ways to see these things.
If you want to send us an experience report on being human, there ought to be such a place where you could do that. If it is just me sharing here , what is the point of all that? If you have a voice to contribute to Second Attention or an artwork to vibe with a post, pleas reach out in the contact section.
I guess i did buy into that awful idea (too much) for far too long. I held myself back for the perceived comfort of those around me. This was a really wonky strategy considering I was optimizing for lowest anxiety. The wrench in the motor of it was that over the long haul, it would be exponentially more nerve jostling to attempt to modulate my behavior in real time, hoping for a most comfortable experience for all involved. This seems ridiculous to me now. I would never be able to calculate for such things.
I play a unique style of air guitar when I feel the calling to do a concert in my mind; where I am finally able to play my musical ideas without all the cumbersome practice. Every note just comes out perfect with the best effects on it too. This kind of self expression can be joyful or it can have me feeling alone , like further from being able to share with anyone – a long internal dialogue.
Those times when the celebration of being alive was the main reason everyone came. These are rare, and it is sad to me that people have been so uncared for that they are afraid to share their real thoughts and feelings. Yes, this is going to be uncomfortable if you have been in a cocoon, but it turns out to be way more uncomfortable not to be yourself. It takes longer to notice the ship is sinking but then you really know.
Are we going to get wet here?
I am easily distracted by the brightness of things. It is not out of disrespect for the current event I am in, I am honored to be there too, it’s just that a new idea can come in like it’s powered by a gusty wind and it is nearly impossible not to give it a nod and ask it where it came from.
The internal experience and the worlds that we create with our thoughts must be infinite in their possible ways of understanding things. You have one of these unique experiences going on right now in your now. Whether you choose to share it or not , i hope you will appreciate it and be thankful to be that as it is happening. A once in a lifetime occurrence every day if you so choose. Isn’t this cause for celebration?
For me, simple gratitude for things I was already grateful for was like a key to fully experience the moments that follow such a mindset. It was like my mind said “thanks for noticing, we have been working hard to show you this.” The show must play on and I find myself moving towards playing my best part rather than just watching.
You know it’s amazing that your heart beats and in your eyes, a reflection creates an entire private universe. We all know this. Who wants to keep you all divided so you don’t see what we all have in common?
Say their names and know they are the ones steering the money and labeling talent as fame.
It’s your choice what to believe. Your life is going to be a collection of the stories you believed to be true. In my story, people begin to fully appreciate the magic that they are. Why not? It is going to be a long and bumpy ride if we do not.
I can picture the few and proud readers remaining at the turbulent intersection of this dialog with your now. I push on because of you.
I think in patterns all the time. My brain likes to list out the most plausible choices that would satisfy a given decision to be made.
From there, I will usually construct somewhat of a map of possible outcomes. This may sound practical but I can only focus sufficient attention to do this if the idea at hand is mostly philosophical. If you throw numbers and formulas in, I will need my computer for that.
There is where it seems like trusting the unconscious self comes in to play and goes right around the problem of too much logic. Now, I listen to my quieter inner voice:
— the one that is actually polite
— and whose guidance has been spot on.
Then I feel ok to let all the other options go and just be with my choices. Life will build itself up around all this intent. It’s easier than all the struggling
